Lonely Road
by speedfanatic05
Summary: ...and she realized that the lonely road she was on with him, had been hers to walk all along..."


Lonely Road

Rating: FRT

Warnings: Language, Implications of Sex

Pairings: Hints of H/Y & DuCaine

A/N: For the CSI Projects Angst Challenge

Addendum This was for the CSI Projects Angst challenge, but seeming as if I hadn't heard from them in some months, I decided to go ahead and post my work. I'll deal with the fall out. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own, but the thought is lovely. All characters are property of CBS Alliance and that genius, Jerry B.

_"I'm just saying, it's a hell of a lonely road he's walking …"_

_"Well, that's why I'm walking it with him…"_

Calleigh & Hagen- Simple Man 1x17

She paced the length of the hall, her arms wrapped tightly around her body as if protecting her. It was no use; her heart had already been shattered when she saw him walking with her, the obvious signs of their once tight lipped relationship now more evident than ever. After all of the years of being in the background and supporting, it had now come to this. The solitude ate at her and she could feel the tears building even as she wiped at them angrily, their bitterness knowing no end. She hated to cry, but when Calleigh Duquesne cried, it wasn't for nothing.

The hall filled with people and she stepped to the side, her arms still wrapped tightly, and only moving one to slip an errant strand of hair behind her ear. Her eyes scanned the crowd, hoping beyond hope that she would spot him, his appearance telling her that he was going to be okay and that he wasn't fighting for his life as she was, a bullet changing lives in the span of seconds.

As the people began to filter out, she caught a glimpse of red, her worry dissolving into relief as she dropped her arms and started towards him. Only when she got closer, she was able to see that it wasn't him and her heart sunk even more, the worry returning instantaneously. Deciding that she had enough of pacing, she walked into the waiting room and scanned it for an empty seat, seeing one in the distant corner. The room was filled with personnel from the Department and even her counterparts in the lab, everyone showing for the support of officers gunned down in the line of duty.

The feeling of being watched crept in to her spine and she shivered somewhat, knowing that all eyes were on her, the third wheel of the party. It had been the three of them going into that warehouse, but only she emerged unharmed, which was now surely a burning question in everyone's mind; why was she the last one standing? It was well known that Horatio and Yelina had once been an item, but even more legendary was Calleigh's relationship with the red haired lieutenant. From the beginning, she had been by his side, a devoted member of his team, and one who steadfast went to plate for him at any given chance. At one point, she could hear the rumors of being his guard dog, but she shrugged them off. Horatio was a good man, perhaps too good for this world, and Calleigh had worked hard to preserve that integrity at every turn.

Soon adoration had turned to something more and her heart palpitated whenever he was near, the acuteness of their relationship building. At times, she found that she could finish his sentences and he did so in return, but it wasn't until one faithful night in the firearms lab that their true feelings were realized.

_"Working late I see," he said as he came through the door, a small smirk on his face. "Get anything yet?"_

_Calleigh's face lit up as she turned towards him, her hair flowing naturally behind her. "Hey, handsome, I thought you'd left for the day already?"_

_"Not quite, but I was on my way out when I saw that your car was still in its space," he answered, leaning against the door jamb. "Wondered why that was."_

_"Cause, these bullets won't identify themselves, Horatio. But, we are in luck, two of these have already been matched, I'm just waiting for the other three, then I'm out."_

_"Mind some company?" he asked, his eyes lighting slightly as he raised an eyebrow._

_"Not at all, unless you had something to do." She was hoping that he would tell her that he couldn't stay long, realizing that her heart couldn't take much more in his presence. Over time, she had developed deep feelings for her LT, but she had done so knowing his past with Detective Salas. "I don't want to keep you."_

_"No worries, Calleigh," he said smoothly, coming further into the lab. As he sat down, he smiled, seeing her cup on the desk. " Hmm, out of coffee, want some more?"_

_Calleigh shook her head slightly, her smile beaming more, the notion of him having the simple knowledge of how she took her coffee running through her. "I don't need anymore. I'm almost done, remember?"_

_"Ah, yes," he returned, pulling himself closer to the scope, watching her as she peered down into the instrument. His gaze followed her movements and he smiled harder, content to be in this space with her. Waiting for her to surface from the scope, he saw her frown and leaned over towards her, his eyes narrowing in query, " What is it, Cal?"_

_Calleigh looked up suddenly and came face to face with his deep blue eyes, feeling them practically bore in to her very soul. She smiled nervously as she cleared her throat, tossing her hair behind her shoulders. Outside, she was trying to affect the calm demeanor, inside, she was melting. "Um…there's a characteristic that I apparently failed to see. But there's nothing to worry about, I'll just add the characteristic into the search."_

_"Now, I can't believe that you, Calleigh Duquesne missed something on a bullet. That's just unfathomable," Horatio chuckled, leaning on his elbows. "Can that be right, inquiring minds want to know?"_

_"Horatio," she chided lightly as she swatted at his shoulder but missing it completely, her actions landing her in his arms. The color rose in her cheeks and she gazed up at him, the blue orbs holding her captive. For a split second, her heart was in his hands. _

_"Are you …are you okay, Cal?" he asked, the concern lining his voice. He held her for a second too long and suddenly, his heart began to race under his chest, the color rising quickly as he smiled at her. Staring deeply, his lips inched towards hers and once completing the journey, he could feel the electricity flowing through them. Parting only for air, he caught her surprised expression and quickly sat her upright, gauging her reaction. "Calleigh? Are you okay?"_

_Calleigh slowly nodded, a wide grin inching across her face as she leaned forward, pressing her body against his more, "Do that again, handsome."_

_He obliged her, soon their kisses morphing into something more passionate, more carnal. As their bodies moved together in the silence of the firearms lab, Calleigh couldn't help but feel a deeper connection, and she realized at that moment that the lonely road she was on with him had been hers to walk all along…._

" Calleigh."

Someone was calling her name and she lifted her face out of the palms of her hands to see them standing before her, the drawn expressions they all wore not helping her. Standing quickly, she almost lost her balance, thankful that Speed was there to catch her, her head spinning crazily. She anchored herself to him until the room stopped revolving and then looked to the others. Alexx had been crying and Eric's usually light, expressive eyes were dimmed. Something was wrong.

"What's going on?" she asked softly, letting go of Speed. She glanced to him, giving him a look of gratitude before returning her focus to the two before her, "Alexx…Eric, what's going on?"

"Calleigh, honey, maybe it will be better if you sat down," Alexx said gently as she reached out towards her.

Calleigh flinched and pulled back, the anger boiling to the surface, "Stop trying to cuddle me, what's going on? Is Yelina alright? What about Horatio? What aren't you telling me?"

"Cal," Speed chipped in, his voice gruff with emotion, " Yelina passed away thirty minutes ago."

"And H isn't fairing any better," Eric sighed heavily. "He's not expected to make it through the next hour."

Time stood still as Calleigh took in the information, feeling her muscles getting weaker. She faltered some and again, Speed caught her, helping her safely to a chair where she sat, her eyes staring out into nothingness. After all of this, after all of the years she spent loving him, it had come to this. An hour.

She stood again, still unsteady and kept her eyes on the door, holding her hand out against Speed who tried to hold her back, "I have to go see him."

"Calleigh, its only family, sweetie," Alexx reminded sorrowfully.

Calleigh spun around to face them, her eyes filling with fury, "Goddamnit Alexx, we are his family! Don't you see, when he was abandoned, he was left with emptiness, an emptiness that we managed to fill. He didn't have to walk down that lonely road by himself, we were there. And I'm not about to abandon him now in his time of need." Leaving them, she walked with determination, her boots clicking incessantly on the tiled floor as she came to rest at the admittance desk. Propping her badge up, she eyed the admittance nurse steadily, her gaze meaning business, "I want to see Lieutenant Caine."

All the question had gone out of the nurse's eyes and she depressed the button silently, the buzz ringing in Calleigh's ears as she nodded curtly towards her and started again, walking through the door. Each step she now took was taking her to a destination that she wasn't sure she was prepared for. The memories assaulted her as she continued on, passing the different rooms where patients were being held to be treated, the ominous sound of silence with the intermittent beeps of the various machines, serving nothing but to irritate her even more. Horatio wasn't supposed to be here, on his last breath no less. He was supposed to be out there protecting his city, his city that continued to take and take from him, despite his disposition to give his last willingly.

Calleigh scanned the doors for names, but knew Horatio's when she saw it, his door being closed where the others had been partially left ajar. His name was hastily strewn about the paper and she stared at it, her hand hovering over the knob as her other pressed against the cool wood. She struggled to stay strong, in spite of what she was going to see when she opened the door. Closing her eyes, she exhaled and then let it go as she turned the knob and entered.

Inside, she found him lying on his back, the monitor reporting dutifully, that his heart was still beating, albeit too slowly for her tastes, but at this point, she was just happy he was still alive. Closing the door softly behind her, she kept her eyes on him, the unnatural light casting an eerie glow on his already pale skin, the shock of red splashing against the white sheets of the bed. She smiled briefly as she approached his side, the constant memories that she had now committed to her heart, ripping at her. As much as she wanted to portray the absolute strength she thought she had, in the face of his vulnerability, she could do no more than take his hand as she sat down and squeeze it, willing him to reciprocate. When it was obvious that he wasn't going to, she sighed heavily , but kept her hand within his, believing that it was at least giving him some heat.

With her other hand, she discreetly pulled a strand behind her ear as she leaned forward, his scent catching her almost instantly. Even among the disinfectants, and the copper tinged aroma of his blood permeating through the room, she could still catch the essence of him.

Choking back a cry she lightly caressed his cold hand with her thumb, surprising herself when her voice broke through the silence, strangled with heavy emotion, "Horatio…I've been going over it over and over again…I should've been there, I should've covered you both."

Nothing but silence returned to her and she sighed, dropping her head, the images running into each other, intermingling. The intimate moments just between them were at the forefront, meshing with the others. Most of all she saw his smile, the smile he would only have for her. It was that smile that had captured her heart many years ago, and it would be that smile that she would keep with her forever.

"I can't come in here and say good bye, Horatio. I never got my chance …my chance to love you," she said in a tiny voice. Holding on to his hand tightly, she tried to force the tears away, failing as one broke free and chased down her cheek. Shaking her head, her hair fell loosely around her and she pulled his hand up to her lips relishing the feeling of his skin against her, " I will always love you , Horatio. What we shared …no one can take away. I'll keep that memory safe."

Staring at him, she willed him to move, squeeze his hand …something. But when he failed to, she felt her dam burst and the tears flowed like a river as she released his hand and placed it down gently. The sound of the monitor slowing alerted her and she looked up to see the numbers falling quickly. In horror, she moved to rise, but felt the need to stay, anchoring herself to his hand.

"Go," she said softly as she cried more, "and be at rest, Horatio. I love you."

His heart failed and she sighed as she watched his life leave him, an instant peace coming over his face. A small smile erupted as the door opened and the doctor hurried in followed by a throng of nurses. Calleigh got up and moved away, already knowing that he had gone on. She was on the lonely road by herself now, and she had the power of her goodbye to help her along.

Fin


End file.
